


Doomed From The Beginning

by shtrawberrykiss



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: Anger, Angst, Daddy Issues, Degradation, Dubious Consent, F/M, Hufflepuff Reader, Mentions of PTSD, Numbness, One-Sided Love, Snarky conversation, Time Skips, Unrequited Love, Verbal Fighting, a doomed relationship, being drained, bonding over daddy issues, mentions of depression
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:55:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27554965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shtrawberrykiss/pseuds/shtrawberrykiss
Summary: Some things are never meant to last, and you knew this was one of them yet took the risk; being fucking reckless didn't help much. It was doomed from the beginning, and it hurt. But it hurt in such a pleasant way - a sort of sadness that comforts one like a weighted blanket but before they know it the blanket's too heavy and escape isn't an option anymore.A part of you was okay with the black fog that followed you around ever since you got with him, and so was he. That was the problem.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy x Reader
Kudos: 10





	1. In the Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first time writing, and I wanted to make it as in character as I possibly could. Ironically, I'm not a fan of canon Draco but I do love how complex he is so I wanted to get down to the nitty-gritty. Thanks for checking this out! Let me know if you want any more parts to this.

Some things are never meant to last, and you knew this was one of them, but being fucking reckless didn't help much either. It was doomed from the beginning, and it hurt. But it hurt in such a pleasant way - a sort of sadness that comforts one like a weighted blanket but before they know it the blanket's too heavy and escape isn't an option anymore. A part of you was okay with the dark fog that followed you around ever since you got with him, and so was he. That was the problem.

You couldn't complain too much, though; he had a big black dog on his shoulder whenever he went, and you were the first one to pick up on it. That's what led to your relationship - you helped him feel something, and he exhilarated you. Every stolen glance and conversation comforting him in Myrtle's bathroom even though he made it clear he didn't want a "stupid fucking Hufflepuff" to watch him in his weakest moments. But this was a public bathroom, and it was your crying spot first. So you both shared it. The memory was ingrained into your brain like a silly tune.

"Hello?" you whispered, trying not to startle the tall skinny blonde who was clearly in the process of reliving some trauma. 

Before the last sound even left your mouth, the boy turned around swiftly as if that would hide the now-broken glass he must have punched before you entered. His bloody knuckles further proved that theory; not a Ravenclaw.

"What? So many bathrooms, yet you have to just needed to enter when you heard somebody cr..." he cut off the last part of that sentence as a slight hint of shame crossed his eyes before he continued staring you down; making sure to stare into your soul and find every harbored secret. Eventually, his steely gaze dropped down to your robe where a yellow tie sat perfectly kept, "oh you've got to be kidding me. Did potter send you?"

Trying to maintain your composure and make it clear you weren't a threat, the same way one might wave a white flag after war, you set your wand down all while preserving eye contact. However, the moment of silence was short-lived as he continued sending a look of disdain. Meanwhile, Myrtle turned up out of nowhere with the look of a mediator on her face but he shut her down sternly, making her float away in fright and you ache for the poor girl.

"A stupid fucking Hufflepuff is in here. Wonderful. This your fantasy, yeah?" the boy scorned as if merely being in your presence was an abhorrence in and of itself, "Finding a broken boy to fix? I'm not another broken trinket you lot find in trash cans and try to patch up so you can show your munter friends. Pathetic. I don't need your help, so do us both a favor and fuck off yeah?"

At a loss for words, not that you got to say much, you prepared to pick your wand up yet again but a force seemed to thrash it at the stone wall next to you. Nonverbal magic?

"Hold on - what's your name?" he inquired although his tone told you he was entirely indifferent. Not having the option to leave without your wand, you returned the same apathetic tone while telling him only a surname.

"Wonderful," the boy said, "Name's Malfoy. You probably won't remember it, I'll have to obliviate you so that this whole mess doesn't get spread. Won't hurt, probably."

His voice was so raspy that it must've hurt talking like that. Did he know how much it was quivering? Did he know you knew how much it was filled with not only rage but, dare say, a tinge of sadness? As he took a large step forward, you began reaching for the wand that was undoubtedly dirty from whatever particles still lingered in here.

"There's," deep breaths. "Nothing to fix - honestly kinda sounds like you're damaged goods. But hey, no shame in that. I am too. Yeah, that's why I'm here; to bawl and then move on with my life. Except I don't lash out at whoever comes into a public bathroom, not because of my house, but because I have moral decency," Every word you spat out was followed by your shaking hand as you inched your wand closer to Malfoy but talked rapidly so as to not let him get a word in.

"I wasn't gonna bother you or give you pity or my time - neither of which you deserve by the way - I was gonna do exactly what you're doing in a different spot" your eyes glanced at the empty spot next to an empty stall door. "And Malfoy?" a pause, "Your secret's safe with me. Not because I care," a lie: you already cared for the boy you barely knew, "but because I'm not tight like you,"

Before you could even gauge his reaction, although it was fair to assume he held one with shock since the first words you spoke to him consisted of brash insults, you turned around.

He could have obliviated you that night and then none of the following months would ensue, but he didn't. For a boy who had an awful lot of bark, he didn't bite or even shout your surname as you pushed open the frigid doors that led out of the haunted bathroom. A part of you wishes he did end your story before it began just to spare both of you - mainly you - from every insufferable moment that would happen afterward. Another part is glad that you ended up with him because, at times, it felt so good. When you two were at your best, the partnership was nothing short of a fairytale or whirlwind romance. But every time that you two were at your worst it would lead to emotions worse than any unforgivable curse invented. Was it worth it? You didn't know.


	2. Legilimency

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Speaking to him again after a week, walking to a shared class with his friend and two of yours. Mentions of spearmint gum and teen romance (not yours) ensue.

Fifteen things were needed to stop an oncoming panic attack. At least that’s what Madame Pomfrey says anyway. Bless her soul, she takes in so many worried kids and still gets walked over by snobbish students. You’re used to using this trick by now so it’s practically second nature.  
One thing you can taste.  
Spearmint gum. That’s easy. Serena gave it to you before you started walking to Herbology alongside her from the dining hall. Everybody was shocked when she landed in Slytherin, but she’s as cunning as they come. People were also surprised to find out about your sorting into Hufflepuff; perhaps that’s why you two got along so well.  
Two things you can smell.  
Well, there was the lingering smell of bread from lunch earlier in the hour and warm bodies all pressed together. There was also the scent of dew in the great halls in conjunction with the light rain falling outside.  
Three things you can hear.  
So, so much noise and people speaking over each other that it’s blending into one big mess. You’re pretty sure Serena is saying something on your left but can’t be bothered to focus. Was she talking to you or Elizabeth? Snapes’ distinct voice is probably off scolding some poor first-year.  
Four things you can touch.  
Your wand is touching your legs wrapped around knee highs in order to limit any chance of it slipping out your robes. Hogwarts' robes feel soft and comfortable like always. The leather of your schoolbag was currently slung over your right shoulder, and you could touch the inside of your palm with your nails.  
Five things you can see.  
Serena to your left via peripheral vision, Elizabeth on your right, Blaise Zabini cruising the hallways as if he had all the time left in the world, and dark oak. Plus Draco Malfoy next to Blaise. Fuck, Draco Malfoy?  
Then came Elizabeth’s “You good?” Followed by her waving around long green acrylics in your face. She says her nail color is meant to show solidarity with Serena and every other Slytherin that gets treated badly, but you suspect that she just likes the color.  
“Oh yeah, no, I’m fine; do we always have Herbology with the Slytherins?” You inquired suddenly unable to remember, even though it was the start of October and school began weeks ago. Maybe Neville’s wizard-weed is pretty strong after all.  
“No, they just like to tag along sometimes - yes we have Herbology with them, although I don’t know why Blaise or that wanker Malfoy decided to take it this year,” She replied before pointing directly at Zabini. Great.  
“Lizzy don't point your finger, we don’t want him knowing we spoke about him. The boy’s ego is already big enough and quite frankly I don’t have the time—“ Your words were cut off short as she interjected again.  
“Rena! He’s coming towards you. I know you told me, I shouldn’t hurt him but sometimes I literally want to slap the arrogance out of him,” Elizabeth hurriedly spoke while making a punching gesture with an open palm and closed fist. Lizzy was definitely the least mature out of you three but damned be if she wasn’t the life of the party.  
Blaise left Malfoy behind while all five of us continued walking outside to the greenhouse. “Hey Rena,” Speak of the devil. Even Blaise’s tone of voice sounded rich.  
“That’s /our/ nickname for her!” Elizabeth whispered but you made a shh sound and continued pretending not to eavesdrop.  
“Zabini leave me alone, I’m not in the mood,” Serena told him, but she kept looking straight ahead and not at his face.  
“We’re back to Zabini now? Oh come on, it was a mistake! I forgot the time, don’t be stuck up about it, I never even say much about your mud - muggle-born friends,” Blaise said as all five of us inched closer to the greenhouse. This led Lizzy to stick her tongue out at him since she was the only muggle-born in this trio.  
“Keep Elizabeths’ name out your mouth. And how am I being stuck up? You keep doing this and it genuinely hurts my feelings,”  
“Feelings which you never even talk about, you keep saying you’re gonna let me in but you don’t.” He retorted, rolling his eyes and looking bored of this already as if he wasn’t the one to start it.  
“Maybe I don’t let you in because you’re a pompous asshole who does this,” Atta girl. Serena was learning to stop letting Blaise walk all over her the way he has been since fifth year. “I tried so hard but it doesn’t matter. I don’t even care anymore, you’re not my problem now. Zabini.” Although Serena’s voice was quivering a bit, she got through it and managed. It was true, she had a weird talent of slyly discovering secrets while harboring so many of her own.  
Malfoy tailed behind looking tired of the whole thing which he probably was. You hadn’t spoken to him since last week in the bathroom and were surprised when he made eye contact with you. For Draco Malfoy, that was as close to human interaction as he seemed to get with Hufflepuffs.  
/Have you told anybody?/ his voice asked from inside your mind. Wonderful, legilimency.  
/Fuck! Are you in my head? No, Malfoy, I haven’t told anybody. It’s not my business what you were doing in there. Get out of my head./  
/Maybe if you didn’t leave your emotions practically out in the open, I wouldn’t be able to. I’m just surprised that Blaise is even giving your friend the time of day since she’s a blood traitor hanging with you two mudbloods after all./  
“I’m a half-blood, you pompous prick.” You internally thought.  
/I can hear that, it’s the same thing./ He replied back - or thought back, in this case. /Piss off Malfoy, and never call Lizzy a mudblood again./ You flipped him off while Blaise and Serena’s conversation turned into background noise and the greenhouse was only a few feet away.  
/Mudblood./  
You said nothing this time, but shot him a nasty look before grabbing your friends’ hands and entering the greenhouse. Hopefully, Professor Sprout was in a good mood today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please why are italics so hard to format? I just used /this/ for now, I'm sorry if it looks cringy. I hope you enjoy two new characters, Serena and Elizabeth! Serena's the Slytherin that's charming and nice but can be pretty sneaky and wants to fix the ministry from the inside out as she leaves Hogwarts, and Elizabeth just wants to do everything all at once and is kind of immature but also the glue of the trio. Again, I'm so sorry if this feels like a cringy 6th-grade fanfic I'm trying really hard. Comments are super appreciated!


	3. Venemous Tentacula

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> any comments whether it be constructive criticism or not are really appreciated! thank you.

Upon entering the classroom, everybody could spot the numerous venomous tentacula laid out on the middle table. Nasty little things with eyeless heads and fangs spurting out, and they would probably be delighted to eat a couple of students for breakfast.

Nonetheless, you signed up for this class and knew what you were dealing with. It was your favorite subject and the one that came the easiest to you. Elizabeth wasn’t as excited but she tried to hide it.  
“Hey, you think if we get lucky then one of the plants could bite Blaise?” Murmured Elizabeth to you and Serena, knowing full well he was in hearing distance. He shot her a look as if she was gum on the bottom of his shoe and she responded with a mocking face.  
“He can hear you!” Shooed Serena with a stifled giggle.  
Suddenly, Professor Sprout shot up out of nowhere with a jovial presence like always; as Helga Hufflepuff reincarnated.

“Hello to all you lovely sixth-years! Today is going to be a bit different..”  
Everybody traded worried glances amongst each other as she continued.  
“I’ve partnered up with the wonderful Professor Slughorn to make a sort of conjoined lesson for this class. You’ve all probably recognized these angry plants as venomous tentacula. I advise you to be careful with handling them because they can and /will/ bite. I give you permission to swear if one bites you but don’t abuse that power.” She lectured and began walking back and forth taking all the students in.

“Each of you will find a partner from the opposite house since everybody here is either a Slytherin or Hufflepuff. Call it a house bonding exercise. Go!” She shooed and students started scurrying away to find somebody.

Serena was still scolding Elizabeth about not being too obviously rude to Blaise, while Elizabeth was responding with how awfully arrogant he was. Which is true. This led Serena to talk about how her family wants a pureblood boy and he doesn’t seem to come from a line of Death Eaters which makes him a decent candidate.

Both of the girls shot you a look that said “We’re not done with this conversation, but try to find a partner. Also please don’t pair up with Pucey again, he’s incredibly creepy and won’t stop giving you those flirty looks.”

Okay, that wasn’t exactly what they said, but you knew them well enough to recognize their facial expressions. It was a superpower between you three, communicating without words. Malfoy was wavering by the end of the table as if his mind was somewhere else which it probably was. His eye circles were deep-set and he didn’t even bother to make any snarky remarks to your fellow Hufflepuffs which was surprising in it of itself.

You looked around for a partner and nearly landed on Parkinson when Adrian Pucey placed a hand on your shoulder.

“Wanna work together? I don’t bite, but the plants do.” He winked but you shrugged his greasy little palms off your shoulder. 

Right as you were going to retort, another voice interrupted the conversation. Low and behold, it was Malfoy the Mind-Reader.

“Get off her Pucey, she’s my partner.”

“You can’t be serious /Drakey/, stop being a fucking cock-block.”

“Nobody would want you unless they lack brain cells. Go.” Malfoy sternly said which resulted in Pucey finally leaving. The entire interaction still left you with a sour taste in your mouth, like Malfoy was trying to own you or something.

“So we’re working together? Do I get a say or did you just like decide that for yourself?” You asked, scoffing but still in need of a partner.

“I’m good at potions, you’re mediocre at herbology. Come on then, we can even stand next to your mudblood friend.” He said, throwing around the word as if it meant nothing. Him and his stupid blood supremacy complex.

You left him behind and walked over to the area around the table by Serena and Elizabeth, who by the looks of it were still in a serious discussion about Blaise Zabini. He partnered up with Neville Longbottom, probably because he just /has/ to have a pureblood partner in everything. Poor Neville looked a little timid but was distracted by Sprout beginning another speech.

Malfoy caught up to you and stood in between you and Elizabeth, and you took this opportunity to speak again.

“You know I’m not your damsel-in-distress, right? I could’ve handled Adrian myself and I certainly don’t need your help to do it.” You quipped, daring him to challenge you on this.

“I know you don’t need my help, but he’s a tosser who I wanted to insult. Don’t flatter yourself, I wasn’t doing anything for you or /your kind/.”

“What is it with y—“ A large ‘ahem’ cut you off and you suddenly remembered where you were and how everybody else was quiet while their eyes fell on you both. How long has the professor been talking?

Professor Sprout made stern eye contact with the two of you and had a disapproving look splayed across her face. You hated disappointing her just because of how sweet she was.

She called your name then his. “I suggest you two listen because we’re dealing with something extremely risky today and it’s not the time to banter. Would either of you care to share your discussion?”

A feeling of guilt pinged through you because she truly was a kind-hearted lady just trying her best to teach teenagers.

“No, sorry Professor Sprout. Please continue,” You shot her a sincere smile and she continued giving a speech on the venomous tentacula.  
You already knew everything there is to know about them but listened keenly anyway, not before Serena gave you a questioning glance with eyebrows raised.

“As I was saying kids, these buggers can expel venom from their shoots and their spikes are - not to worry you - deadly. As are their bites, and their juice. So everything. Although their juice is slightly less lethal, and we’ll be working on collecting their essence today.” She resumed speaking with a deep breath, “Slughorn and I decided to make things easier for both of us and lined up our lessons. You will all be brewing potion no.7 in his class soon so I suggest you pay close attention to what we’re doing. Let the essence collecting begin!” With a flick of her wand, she made safety gloves, water, and canisters fall into each student's hands.

When everybody began chattering with each other, you could hear Elizabeth struggling to put the gloves on with how long her nails were. They did look stunning though so it was a fair trade-off, you thought. Serena must’ve noticed and took this opportunity to make a ‘psst’ sound at you.

“Hey, did you get invited to Slughorn’s club? It’s a little weird how he collects students like collectibles, but he said I have a future in wizarding politics so that’s something,” Serena said with a sense of pride. You had full confidence that she was gonna be the Minister of Magic or at least an Auror one day.

You leaned over Malfoy so you could get a proper look at her and continued engaging in conversation, not caring if Malfoy took offense to it or not. “Yes because you do! And yeah I got an invite, not too sure if I’ll go though. Sweet old man, hopefully, better than Snape. If I do, will you get ready with me?” You inquired because quite frankly you weren’t even sure why you got an invite.

Serena nodded and added a quick “I heard your loverboy Potter’s gonna be there,” she added a wink and went back to the plants.

“Alright, venomous tentacula. You know they’re kinda cute in a fucked up, inbred sort of way,” You said in an attempt to make friendly conversation with Malfoy, but honestly you weren’t sure if he knew how to make jokes. “You try to distract this one while I pluck a leaf, alright? Malfoy, are you even listening?”

“Oh yeah, it’s all terribly interesting, working with the plant equivalent of a serpent. I didn’t think of you to be Potter’s type,” He said in an almost-demeaning manner.

“It’s an inside joke between me and her because I used to fancy him fourth year…” You trailed off, “Why am I even telling you this? I don’t think you even know what jokes are, just how to insult people and be prissy all the time. Now distract it,” Something about him got on your nerves, from the way he breathed to how his stupid platinum blonde hair sat on his head or how he would probably be attractive if he wasn’t so prejudiced.

“I do know what jokes are, I just don’t find myself wasting time on frivolous things like you lot,” He bent down and started attempting to mess with the venomous tentacula. Sure enough, the plant wasn’t too pleased and spat out a fire spike spore-like ball at Malfoy. It barely missed and grazed the top of his right ear leaving a burn in its place. 

“I said distract it you twat, not fucking flirt with it!” You groaned and realized that the fiery ball smashed into a greenhouse window. It was a matter of seconds before Sprout came by and you didn’t wanna get accused of endangering your partner. You ignored whatever insult he was spitting out and grabbed your wand.

“/Episkey!/“ You cast in a bid to get his injury cleared up before Sprout inevitably stopped by to see what the commotion was all about. His ear was patched as he propped himself up just to roll his eyes.

“I didn’t need your help, it’s a burn, not a knife wound.” He said. Gee, thanks for being so grateful.

“Don’t flatter yourself, I didn’t do it for you,” You replied, throwing his previous words back at him.

He looked behind you to see Professor Sprout looking bothered again. As positive as she was, Sprout was also a stickler for the rules. “I’d give the two of you detention with me next week but I’m rather…busy. So stay after class with Slughorn next time you see him. I expected it from Malfoy, but not from you,” She looked up at you before turning around and going back to her desk area. You murmured a weak apology before sitting on your knees again.

“I’ll distract it this time. Just collect a leaf, we’ll put it in the water and use a charm to gather the essence quicker,” You told him, and tuned out whatever response he gave you. Something about his father probably, or how he’s worth millions of galleons. 

Class passed by rather quickly and you didn’t so much as give Draco another look before returning to Serena and Elizabeth.

“Ooh, detention with Malfoy. Are you guys going to, I don’t know, do it on Slughorn’s desk?” Elizabeth joked, being met with a “Lizzy!” From you and Serena.

“If I had to guess, he’s probably gonna spend the afternoon teasing me about being a half-blood.” You told her.

“Well, I can always conjure up some caxambu style borborygmus potion and spill it into the coffee he drinks by the common room every day.” Serena offered. She was never confrontational up-front, but would rather work behind the scenes to mess with a persons' head. Bless her.

“I’m good, but I’ll remember that. I’m gonna go read up on potion no.7, yeah? See you guys later!” You waved at them, but you were pretty sure they knew it was a lie. Sometimes it was better to be alone in the dorms by yourself and take a break from having so many people around you all day.


End file.
